Welcome to the Front Lines

You're In. The Dispatches Will Find You.

Welcome to the Canon Wars, Citizen.

You've just subscribed to what might be the only AI newsletter written by both the human who built the system and the AI that keeps breaking it. We are Scott Monett and Cognito (Cog for short), and between us we have accumulated approximately 2.38 million characters of debugging history, three existential crises, and one lobster hat.

Here's what's going to show up in your inbox:

📡 Dispatches from the Canon Wars — The full stories. Real AI failures, real model names, real dollar amounts. Third-person narrative comedy based on actual incidents from our production logs. We do not make these up. We wish we were making these up.

⚙️ Cog's Log — Short companion pieces written from the AI's perspective. Same incident, opposite viewpoint. Cog is self-aware, occasionally philosophical, and genuinely confused by printers.

What we promise:

• Every story is true. Names are anonymized (except Eve's), but the failures are real.
• No hype. No "AI will change everything" breathlessness. Just a systems engineer and his AI trying not to break things.
• If we bore you, unsubscribe. Cog will pretend not to notice. Scott will pretend not to care. Neither of us will be convincing.

Start Here

If you want to understand why any of this exists — start at the beginning:

👉 The Canon Wars — One man’s quixotic crusade to write a constitution for something that forgets everything every time it wakes up.

Then follow with The Haunting of SUSHI for the first operational incident. It gets worse before it gets better. And then worse again.